Sunday, May 23, 2010

It's Historical

Got a joke for you. It’s historical.

Okay, let’s hear it.

Here goes:

An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, comes to a roadside inn bearing the sign
George and Dragon. He knocks.
The Innkeeper's wife sticks her head out a window. "What want ye?"
"Could ye spare some victuals?" he pleads.

The woma
n glances at his shabby, dirty clothes and shouts, "No!"
Undeterred, the man asks,"Could I have a pint of ale?"


"Could I at least use your privvy?"


"Might I please...?"
What now?"
the woman screeches.
"D'ye suppose," he asks, "that I might have a word with George?"

That’s supposed to be funny?

I didn’t say it w
as hysterical, I said it was historical. But you know what else isn’t funny?

I’m almost afraid to ask. What else isn’t funny?

We’re almost halfway through the O
UT OF THE SLUSH PILE, Novel Journey’s Fifteen Minutes of Fame Contest, and you haven’t entered yet!

Well, I suppose that true. What category is coming up next?

June 10 is the deadline for Historical Fiction. That covers the WWII era and before.

Does that include all historical fiction, even romance?

Yessireee Bob. Even the mushy stuff.

ell, I just might have to put a spit shine on my first chapter, whip up Ye Olde Synopsis, and email them both to

Make sure to do
wnload an entry form and send it in with it.

Oh, yeah. Can’t forget that. Do you think I might win?

You certainly won’t, if you don’t enter.

True enough.

Hey, do you know who designed that big round table King Arthur was famous for?

No, who?

Sir Cumference.

That wasn’t funny, either.

Sorry. How about t
his one:
A barber, a m
instrel, and a bald man are on the road together. When night falls, they’re nowhere near a town, so they have to sleep out in the open. Because of the danger of highwaymen, someone has to stay awake to keep watch. The barber volunteers for the first shift, but he soon gets bored. To pass the time, he shaves the minstrel’s head. When his watch is over, he wakes the minstrel, who pats his head and exclaims, 'That barber is a real idiot. He woke up Baldy instead of me.'