It had been a sleepless night full of worry and fear. Our daughter had gotten herself into a life-threatening situation and I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to do. It seemed that any course of action we took would end in disaster. I went from wide-eyed worry to pleading with God to keep her safe.
The next morning when I dragged myself out of bed I realized I had to teach religious education at a local public school. As I drank my coffee I decided there was no way I could do it so I went to the phone to call the school and cancel. That was one of the few times in my life that I felt God say a very definite "No." I tried three times to pick up the phone but couldn’t do it. Then I got mad. Mad at God.
I was angry that he had allowed my daughter to get into this mess she was in, angry that he hadn’t protected her, and angry that now he demanded that, in my distracted and sleep-deprived state, I should go and teach a fourth grade class about Him. I told Him I couldn't do it, but I got in my car and drove to the school, ranting all the way, telling God He was going to have to show up big time because I was in no mood for this.
It was a pretty normal grade four class – some of them were attentive and easy to teach, others weren’t so much. But that morning, when I walked into the room I knew immediately something was different.
Their eyes were glued to me and before I could even begin to teach the lesson, they started asking questions – very simple, basic, little kid questions like, Is God real? Is he really with us all the time? Does God really hear us when we pray? Does He really help us? And as the answers formed on my lips my heart received the truth and the joy of His presence, His desire to bless me, His deep deep love for me and His amazing, overflowing grace.
He showed up in that classroom and demonstrated what Paul must have felt when he said in Ephesians 3:8, "Although I am less than the least of all the Lord's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ..."
We writers have all been charged with this task, to "use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms." (1Peter 4:10)
Sometimes we don't feel like it. Sometimes we're just not in the mood. And sometimes we're mad at God. But if we move forward in obedience, no matter what, He will show up and pour His grace through us onto the pages we write and into the lives of His people.
Marcia Lee Laycock writes from central Alberta Canada where she is a pastor's wife and mother of three adult daughters. She was the winner of The Best New Canadian Christian Author Award for her novel, One Smooth Stone and also has two devotional books in print. Her work has been endorsed by Sigmund Brouwer, Janette Oke, Phil Callaway and Mark Buchanan. Marcia's second novel, A Tumbled Stone has just been short listed in the Contemporay Fiction category of The Word Awards. Abundant Rain, an ebook devotional for writers can be downloaded here Visit Marcia's website