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Tuesday, December 16, 2014

You're a Lousy Gift Giver (And So Am I)

by James L. Rubart

This is the season for gift exchanges. But isn't that an oxymoron? 

  • A gift is something given with no expectation of anything in return.
  • An exchange is when I give you something, you give me something back. 


Confession Time

I've had times where I've given friends gifts at Christmas and not received one in return and it's hurt my feelings. You too? Whew. Nice to know I'm not alone.

Jesus had a few thoughts about giving: In Luke 14 he says, "When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid."

What? I'm not supposed to get something back?

A number of years ago a friend of mine gave a secret scholarship so a writer could attend the Mt Hermon Christian Writer's Conference. She says it's a treasured memory, primarily because she gave it without any possibility of the person giving anything in return. Hmmm, I think there's a lesson here.

Dying To Self

When we truly die to self (yeah, like that's easy) we are able to give from a full heart with no expectation of what will come back to us. There is such freedom and joy in that! 

An Idea

No matter how long you've been on this writing journey, there are people ahead of you. And no matter how short, there are people behind you. So go crazy, and take a moment to tell that person ahead of you how much they have inspired you. That's such a gift.

Then turn around and take a moment to tell that writer a few paces behind you how you believe in them, and to grab onto hope and never let go. That too is an incredible gift.

Because deep inside, whether we're a bestseller, or are just starting our first novel, we are an insecure lot who wonder if we matter, wonder if we have worth. And the gift of encouragement we can give each other is worth more than gold.

James L. Rubart is the best-selling and Christy award winning author of six novels. He’s also a professional speaker, and marketer who helps businesses and authors make more coin of the realm. In his free time he dirt bikes, hikes, golfs, takes photos, and occasionally does sleight of hand. No, he doesn’t sleep much. He lives with his amazing wife and two sons in the Pacific Northwest and still thinks he’s young enough to water ski like a madman. More at http://jameslrubart.com/

2 comments:

Ane Mulligan said...

Great idea, Jim. And one we can all do!

Michael Ehret said...

This so speaks to my heart as someone whose love language is gifts. I love to receive, but even more love to give. One of my favorite memories is when a fellow writer sent me the COMPLETE Blu Ray set of "Firefly" -- I was totally blown away and so blessed.

But, even more than getting gifts, I enjoy giving them. And I don't want a list, please. I want to give someone the gift I know they'll love without ever asking them if they even want it. "Here's my list" is something I never want to hear. Steals the joy for me.

Thanks for the reminder that I need to activate my love language more often ...