Get a Free Ebook

Five Inspirational Truths for Authors

Try our Video Classes

Downloadable in-depth learning, with pdf slides

Find out more about My Book Therapy

We want to help you up your writing game. If you are stuck, or just want a boost, please check us out!

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

What To Give The Normal In Your Life For Christmas

by James L. Rubart

You know you're not a normal, right? Just in case you're the 1% of novelists who don't realize this, trust me, you're not a normal.

I know, it's a shock. But it's true.

I first heard the term back in 2007 when Brandilyn Collins encouraged the attendees of a conference to be considerate of the other people staying in the hotel. The normals. I laughed because that's a perfect description of those who aren't writers.

You're probably married to a normal. Or work with a normal. Are friends with normals. But if you're reading this column, you are not one. 

Typical Conversation At Holiday Parties This Time Of Year Between Novelists and Normals

"What are you doing? Texting? Stop it, we're at a dinner party." (Spouse of novelist.)

"I can't. I have to write down what Fredrica just said. It was great!"

"For what?"

"My WIP?"

"Your whip? You don't have a whip."

"My book, my manuscript, the story I'm working on."

"You're embarrassing me."

"I am?"


"But that line will make the scene. I don't want to forget it."

"I don't care!" (Whispered with force.)

"You don't care?" (Sulky face.)

"No. I. Don't. Care."

But that's just one example isn't it? We put our normals through the wringer within the wringer. Yet the normals in our lives believe in us, encourage us, listen to us ... and listen to us ... and listen to us.

As I've frequently said, Darci (my wife) talked me off the ledge so often in the early days she set up a lawn chair out there.

With that in mind, here are a few ideas on what to get the normals in your life for Christmas this year:

  • Print out a mock gift certificate that entitles your normal to a date night where nothing about writing will be discussed.
  • Stop telling your normal (for two weeks) about the conversation your characters just had in your head and how frustrating it is that they want to do something you totally oppose.
  • Pretend that encouraging e-mail you got from a reader, or editor, or agent, isn't as significant as the first time man set foot on the moon.
  • Pretend that devastating rejection or review isn't as significant as the explosion of the Hindenburg.
  • When you get to that point where you're 70 percent of the way through your WIP and everything in you says, "It's horrible! It's dreck! It would make people puke their guts out!" don't express this belief to your normal.
  • When you tell your normal, "I'll be done with this blog post by 7:30pm and we can start the Christmas movie then!" actually be done by 7:45. They can only keep dinner warm so long. (Not that this is real life example or anything.)
  • Thank them. We need them. They are the rock in so many of our lives.
  • Be more present in their lives than you are in your character's lives.
  • Finally, jump into their world. Ask them point blank, "What can I do to support you and your dreams?"

Yeah, I know, crazy to think there people unlike us ... but yes, they live among us, and if we want them to keep living among us, let's make like Santa this year. 

James L. Rubart is 28 years old, but lives trapped inside an older man's body. He thinks he's still young enough to water ski like a madman and dirt bike with his two grown sons, and loves to send readers on journeys they'll remember months after they finish one of his stories. He's the best-selling, Christy, INSPY, and RT Book Reviews award winning author of seven novels as well as a professional speaker. During the day he runs his marketing company which helps businesses, authors, and publishers make more coin of the realm. He lives with his amazing wife on a small lake in eastern Washington. More at


  1. Ha! Great ideas, Jim. I posted one for the normals to give their writers. Together, we hit both sides of the issue. :) GMTA.

  2. Merry Christmas to you too, Janice.

    Love it, Ane! I didn't see that column ... going to go find it. :)

  3. It's on my website today, Jimbo.

  4. Very interesting,good job and thanks for sharing such a good blog.your article is so convincing that I never stop myself to say something about it.You’re doing a great job.Keep it up


Don't be shy. Share what's on your mind.